For the entire month of April, Cinefessions will be locked into The Asylum, reviewing films released by the famed studio. Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday throughout April you will get another review on a film released by The Asylum. April’s podcast will also be devoted to films from The Asylum, and you can decide which three will be reviewed right here. Today, Chris jumps into the middle of a trilogy about giant, evil sharks in Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus.

Mega Shark vs CrocosaurusTitle: Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus (2010)
Director: Christopher Ray
Runtime: 88 minutes

As I wade my way through these Asylum films, and find myself enjoying them, I can’t help but feel that I will eventually find one that is so god awful that I’ll want to stab my eyes out with a hot poker, and pray for death. That’s what other people have led me to believe, anyway.

So there I was, ready to start folding my laundry, and I thought, “hey, what can I watch while I fold these that won’t require any thought”? Well, Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus, of course! Once I started, I realized that this was a sequel, but, hey, it’s about a “Mega Shark”, so what could I possibly need to know?

How about that mother ****** Steve Urkel (Jaleel White) stars in this movie!? Once I was done nerding out about that, I realized my laundry was folded, I was glued to the TV, and almost an hour had passed. I just had to finish watching it.

If you put on a movie called Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus you honestly can’t be expecting a brilliant experience. Basically there’s a battleship at sea, and it realizes that Mega Shark is still alive from the previous film. Meanwhile, some guy looking for diamonds awakens a giant Crocosaurus, which starts laying eggs. The Mega Shark is drawn to these eggs, so, obviously, an all out battle will have to be waged with the humans somewhere in the middle.

Everything about the film, from the acting to the directing, is perfectly B-grade, which is what I want from a giant monster flick. Of course the CGI is downright terrible. It’s blurry/muddy, and just looks like all-around crap, but that just adds to the charm of the movie. The film just oozes with that B-movie charm, and I can just imagine the Mystery Science Theater 3000 guys ripping this beauty apart. Oh yeah, and did I mention Steve Urkel is a main character? The only thing that could have made this better would’ve been if White were actually playing his Urkel character in this one (instead he is playing Dr. Terry McCormick).

When one encounters a film about two giant, ancient monsters duking it out around humans, one can only imagine the craziness that will ensue. You get that in spades here, and this is my favorite Asylum film to date. I actually plan on going back and watching the first in this trilogy (Mega Shark vs Mecha Shark – the third film in the trilogy – just released a few weeks ago on DVD). Please, put your mind into the trash zone, sit back, and laugh yourself silly at the shenanigans on the screen. It’s no Lake Placid, but few are.




Rent on Netflix