For the entire month of April, Cinefessions will once again be locked inside The Asylum, reviewing tons of releases by the famed studio. Every weekday throughout April you will get another Asylum review. April’s podcast will also be devoted to films from The Asylum.


2-headed shark attackTitle: 2-Headed Shark Attack (2012)
Director: Christopher Ray
Runtime: 88 minutes

Before Sharknado there was 2-Headed Shark Attack. The Asylum loves sharks and, obviously, so do Americans, as it’s an ever popular trend from “Shark Week” on Discovery, to the 9 million, give or take, Asylum films featuring sharks. Oh, and Jaws and its sequels, of course.

A bunch of friends venture out on a party boat to enjoy the sun and sex. Then a 2-headed shark shows up and starts chomping our rather large group into pieces. We clearly can’t take this film seriously, and that’s okay because who wants a serious film about a 2-headed shark?

First, we have an all-star B list of actors. Charlie O’Connell stars as our male lead, and Carmen Electra and Brooke Hogan (THATS WHO THAT WAS!) star as the female leads in this silly little romp in the waters. I had no problem with the acting. Plus, the girls are rather sexy, and a number of them show off their porn star assets, and who am I to condemn any such behavior?

The CGI shark is pretty good by Asylum standards, and it looked cool. The only problem with it is that most of the time the CGI action and human actions just don’t synch up as it jumps between the two. That said, there are plenty of blood, guts, and naked bodies to make it all okay.

For some reason The Asylum loves cheese, sharks, and natural disasters, so if a two-headed shark isn’t enough for you, we have a crumbling island, and a tsunami that the shark rides into the island. Oh, and there are plenty of “double deaths”, as two people stand side by side to expectantly get chomped to bits at the same time.

Sometimes a film is so bad it’s amazing, and I had a childlike grin on my face the entire time I was watching 2-Headed Shark Attack. It’s not good, but it’s obvious they had no intention of it being “good”. It falls in line with rest of The Asylum catalog, and it’s one of the better ones I’ve watched in this otherwise disappointing second trip to The Asylum

three_stars

Chris Ranson
Film Critic at Cinefessions

Chris was raised on horror films, which gave him a deep love for the genre, especially its most quirky and offbeat titles (like A Nightmare on Elm Street 2). This love quickly turned into an obsession for cinema in 1997, when he decided he needed to see every major theatrical release. Video games (JRPGs), reading (anything but fantasy), and reality television (Survivor) are just some of his other passions. He’s been with Cinefessions since 2013, and has been writing reviews all over the internet for the past twelve years.