For the entire month of April, Cinefessions will be locked into The Asylum, reviewing films released by the famed studio. Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday throughout April you will get another review on a film released by The Asylum. April’s podcast will also be devoted to films from The Asylum, and you can decide which three will be reviewed right here. Today, Chris finds out that our former President had to fend of a horde of the undead in Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies.


Abraham Lincoln vs ZombiesTitle: Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies (2012)
Inspired By: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012)
Director: Richard Schenkman
Runtime: 96 minutes

My second adventure into The Asylum is the 2012 Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies, a mockbuster of the god-awful Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. Abe Lincoln: Vampire Hunter was a horrible film made from a mediocre book. I don’t know why I picked this one since I didn’t care for the big-budget film but, hey, you never know!

Abraham Lincoln is working on the Gettysburg address when he finds out zombies from his past are coming! Yeah, I mean, you don’t really need a plot when the highlight of your film is Honest Abe saying, “Emancipate this!”, while decapitating a zombie with a scythe.

Richard Schenkman directs and I’d actually heard of him coming in. He directed the 2013 film Mischief Night, which was nicely shot, but fell apart everywhere else, so I was a little interested in this. I don’t know if he controlled the filter that’s used to make the movie look older, but wow, it does nothing for the film at all.

Now this is a low budget film, and I don’t expect amazing zombie effects, but what the heck is going on here? Everyone is pale-faced, a little bit of blood splattered here and there, and a grimace on their face as they sleep? Most of the zombies (90%) just chill in the fields, enjoying the view and doing nothing. They stand there and take the quick slices that bring them down. I suppose this is a plus because it requires nothing from the zombie actors. The acting by the main cast – made up of a load of actors I’ve never heard of before – isn’t terrible, but it just kind of exists. I will say that the accents are pretty rough, though.

Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies is not a good way to dive into The Asylum’s horror genre offerings. It’s rough around the edges, and it’s rocking the B-movie vibe as hard as it can. The weird, sleeping zombies, and God awful camera filter really bog the movie down a bit in terms of entertainment. But, yet again, I didn’t completely hate it. It was fairly amusing in a bad movie kind of way, but I could never recommend it, or the film it’s mocking.

one_and_a_half_stars

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Chris Ranson
Film Critic at Cinefessions
Chris was raised on horror films, which gave him a deep love for the genre, especially its most quirky and offbeat titles (like A Nightmare on Elm Street 2). This love quickly turned into an obsession for cinema in 1997, when he decided he needed to see every major theatrical release. Video games (JRPGs), reading (anything but fantasy), and reality television (Survivor) are just some of his other passions. He's been with Cinefessions since 2013, and has been writing reviews all over the internet for the past twelve years.